Well, as you can see: i´m still alive !!
It´s been a while since the last time a posted something, i know, but being infected with non-motivation it´s quite exhausting to write something.
But a lot of things happend. Good things as well as bad things. Well, maybe the good thing are bad things or the bad things are the good things, we dicuss it later. Would be too confusing i guess.
Allright, as i mentioned in a post before, i´m sick, my health condition is not the best. I swallow alot of medicin, but obviously it doesn´t work. Well, next week i´ll receive some new medicine, it´s some natural stuff, silicium. And you know what´s funny about it??? They´re still testing that medicine!! So maybe my arms, legs or fingers leave my body sooner or later, like in the UK, where some people tried medicine and were likely to die. And to top that: this medicine was developed by a doctor and his russian wife !! Exactely, RUSSISAN! You probably heard what happened in Russia the last weeks, and what happened to that ex-KGB agent -> radioactive man!
Perhaps i´m going to gleem like an atomic reactor, who knows. As soon as something happens, i´ll let you know. But i´m quite confident that this new stuff will help me.
Due to that fucking week-long sickness i´m missing a lot of days at my college, which is very depressing cause i love studiyng foreign correspondence and i love the people there!!!! I mean, they´re friends to me and i really care about them.
But they also care about me , that´s a good feeling !!! So due to my absence i´m actually studiyng at home, which is awful ! It´s really not funny at all.
Ok, let´s change the subject!
Christmas is coming. For some of you guys it might be the best time of the year, which is no bad thing. But for my part, i firmly admit, that i don´t like christmas. Why? I just don´t like faked happiness and affection. It´s the same stupid procedure as every year. You´re thinking about christmas presents knowing that you have no money for them. You tell people what you´d like to have for christmas, and all you get is some shit you didn´t mention at all. And you always have to pretend to be happy and satisfied! So actually christmas is a big show with more or less good actors playing the happy family for 2 days. Yep, i´m sure that santa claus loves these dramas and comidies...
And than..... do you remember COC? Cause of Confusion?
I mentioned that person in some earlier posts. Just to sum it up, I said that i have a crush on a certain person, which causes confusion in my head.
Ok, it´s not only a crush, i think it´s more. Now you´re probably asking: why confusion? Well, well: it´s a girl !! No, it´s a woman. She´s my age and i really like her, she´s very sexy, has a lot of humour, is intelligent and very interesting.
The confusion doesn´t occur just because it´s a woman, no, the thing is that she´s not attracted to woman, which makes the whole thing a bit difficult.
And it´s really hard to talk with her and to spent time with her, when you´re constantly thinking of kissing and touching her. I don´t know whether she knows it or not, but i try not to act that stupid. I hope it works.
It really sucks, cause actually i don´t fall in love so easily, but after a few days i knew that she is awesome and that i wanna know more about her. But there´s another difficulty. We´re about to become good friends, and you know the problem with friends and love. Sooner or later the friendship suffers.... And i really love her friendship and i don´t want to risk that friendship. Anyway, time goes by and things will change.
I know that all that stuff here sound much depressing but i´m ok. I just had to write it down, in order to feel a kind of relief. Does it work? I´ll tell you later.
Ok, what else? I dunno. I hope that my next post will be a lot more happy and confident. I´m pretty sure it will be, time passes by and change is the only constant thing in life, right?
So take care guys.
